Working Mama

Thursday Jan. 30, 2014

Before I got into my purpose for writing, did you realize that there are two ways of writing the word mama.  You can write it like I just did, "mama," or as "momma."  I am not sure which way is correct and I have written it both ways but for today's post, I am going to use "mama."  Since life is an adventure, I might just change it up later :).

So a lot has happened the last month.  I had meant to write and update many times but I have just been tooooooooo exhausted.

The other day I was at the grocery store and a woman saw the girls and she said, "Wow!  Twins.  I don't know how you do it.  I could barely take care of one baby.  I don't know how you do it."  That wasn't the first time I have heard that statement or something like it.  I always smile and say, "well, it isn't easy, but we manage."  Yet I think to myself, how would I reallllllly like to respond to that statement.  After talking to my cousin she joked with me, telling me I should say something like, "well....I discovered Robitussin works really well.  I just drug one baby and then I can

Getting ready for the Superbowl game (girls 3.5 months old)

focus on the other one."  OR "well, I use drugs so I never know which way is up. It helps the babies stay quiet too."  OBVIOUSLY, I would NEVER actually say those comments (NOR do I believe in drugging babies and I don't take drugs) but what does that person mean, "I don't know how you do it."  The answer is, YOU DO.  You make it work.  Just like any new mom, I never get any sleep, my babies both cry (usually if I am lucky, at the same time so it isn't a constant thing) and they both need diaper changes and feedings.  I do what every mother of one does, just twice.  

The other comment I just crack up on the inside every time I hear is:  "Oh are they twins?"  What I say out loud:  "Yes."  What I think in my head, "no...one is mine, the other I found on the street corner."

Finally, both my girls have pink all over their car seats.  Pink blankets and pink car seat covers.  Pink pink pink, yet people (mostly men) still come up to me and ask me if they are girls or boys.  REALLY??? The pink wasn't your first clue??  I get that they are just trying to engage in a conversation so my snarky comments are all in my head and in good fun.  Just interesting observations :)

I digress:  So I went back to work last Tuesday. I had almost 4 months at home with my girls.  I

They always find a way to hold each other's hand

wouldn't give up that four months for anything.  It was beyond priceless to be able to be with my girls almost every moment to help develop their life long skills.  That type of bonding time you cannot put a price on.  Even though I have to go back to work, I thank God that at least I got the time I did to be with my girls.  I got to wake up and start the day with them EVERY morning and watch them discover the world until the moment they went down for the night.

Luckily (and believe me, LUCKILY) my girls get to go to "Grandma's" house during the day while I am at work.  My mom is watching them and I am so thankful.  Grandma Daycare was open and....almost ready for business.  Last week Mom got a serious kidney infection.  She thought she was passing a kidney stone so tried to ignore the pain.  After 4 days or so, the pain was so unbearable that she went to the doctor.  They gave her some meds and sent her home.  The next day, the girls and I went over to her house to babysit her and she was throwing up and just miserable so I ended up taking her to the ER.  They ended up admitting her and she was in the hospital for three days.  She was able to get the medication that she needed to get better.  Now OBVIOUSLY my number one concern was my mom getting better but it was also a scary realization that I didn't have any childcare backup.  I had NO idea what I was going to do if my mom wasn't well enough to watch the girls.  I called around trying to find some backups and never really did and thankfully Mom was better and ready to start on my first day back to work...so I thought.

They are just super happy babies :)

Did you know that almost everywhere else in the world countries put Mother's as a priority.  In the Czech Republic it is mandatory that mother's take at least eight months off of work to raise their child.  They are guaranteed their jobs back and during those eight months they still receive a good portion of their pay check.  Mother's in the Czech Republic have the option of taking all the way up to four years (yes I said FOUR years) off and still be guaranteed their job back and they still get a pay check.  The longer they take off, the less of a pay check they get but STILL.  In Washington State mothers that are teachers are able to take off as much sick leave as they have.  The district will pay for FIVE DAYS.  ONLY FIVE DAYS.  The mother is then required to use up her sick leave.  How much sick leave depends on how long you have been in the district and how much you have saved up over the years.  Luckily I had enough sick leave to use up most of my four months.  I still had to take some time off without pay but luckily I had money in savings.  If I hadn't had money saved, I would have had to go back to work after 6 weeks.  The four months I had wasn't clearly enough, there is NO way I would have been ready to go back to work after six weeks.   That is also just what teachers go through.  Other people in other professions may not have any sick leave to use up and have to rely solely on their

Playdate with cousins

savings.  It is just rediculous.  This country puts too much emphasis on work and not enough on raising children that will hopefully grow up to be productive members in society.  How are people suppose to do that while their child is growing up in daycare???  Luckily my mom is my daycare so I know that she will be molding my children's young minds.

Anyway... off my soap box.  First day back to work was EXHAUSTING.  For the last couple months the girls have been going to bed like clockwork at 7:30 and have been sleeping soundly until 5ish in the morning.  Amazing.  The night before I went back to work, Clara must have sensed something was up because she woke up scrrrrrrrrrrrrrreaming every 3 hours or so.  Eventually I had her sleep with me in my bed because I just couldn't keep getting up and going into their room.  I slept from about 11pm until 1 am and then just couldn't get back to sleep.  Finally at 4:30 am I got up and took a shower and got ready for bed.  When I went back in my room, I did have to smile and soak in the visual.  My 14 pound daughter was sleeping in a "t" position in the middle of my bed.  She was sound asleep.  I had slept on the 5 inches of the edge of the bed so she wouldn't fall off and for some reason she got the majority of the bed while I had the silver of the edge.  Clearly that was not going to become a habit...sorry Clara but mama's gotta sleep :)

Everyone was excited to have me back at work and students were excited to see me as well, but I

Adelyn sleeping at Grandma Daycare

was simply exhausted.  I went home and all three of us took a long nap and the girls went to bed at 7:30 ready to repeat the day in the morning.  I am so glad that they slept very well the second night.  I slept a little better but I was still so tired that I forgot their clothes at my house.  Thankfully my mom has extras at her house but man, day two and I am already forgetting things.

Clara 

Unfortunately when I got to my mom's she told me that she was still in pain so Lloyd (Grandpa) was taking a day off so he could watch the girls.  She had to go back to the doctors.  Needless to say, that stressed me out all day.  What if she didn't get better?  What if they readmitted her to the hospital??  Who was going to watch the girls???  When I talked to mom later that afternoon she told me that her doctor put her on a stronger antibiotic and she was actually feeling much better.  THANK GOD!!!

Today was day three and things went much better.  Mom was feeling well and I had a good day

Adelyn smiling for the camera

with the students.  Life is always an adventure.  :)

3 Months Old

Thursday Jan. 9th

The girls are three months old today.  Officially they were 3 months old last week but since they were born on the 9th, today is the day.  It seems that up until 3 months, I was counting their age by weeks but once they reached the three month mark, I am fine with counting their age by months...I am glad that we don't still do that.  I would be SEVERALLY old if we still counted by months.  (459 months old...yikes)
     I can't believe that three months have flown by already.  Three months ago seems like a life time and so short awhile at the same time.

Here are some statistics of the girls at this stage:

Adelyn	Clara
Weight:  13.4 pounds            12/26/13  first belly laugh           Still smiling all the time            "talking" all the time            Eating about 30oz a day            Bedtime at 8:30pm and sleeps until about 5am          Still sleeps in napper (in her own crib)            12/24/13 first cold.  Lasted about 12 days            Hates taking naps (sleeps about 30 min a time)	Weight:  12.4 pounds            Smiling more            Babbling a bit            Doesn't like "tummy time"            Eating about 26 oz a day            Bedtime at 8:30pm and sleeps until about 5am            Still sleeps in napper (in her own crib)            12/24/13 first cold.  Lasted about 12 days           Loves taking naps/good sleeper

Needless to say, that I am one proud momma!

Christmas

12-24-13

Clara hanging with Grandma

Adelyn getting ready
to go to Grandpa Dykstra's

This was the girls' first Christmas.  Like I have stated in previous posts, I am a sucker for rituals and traditions.  I am so excited to discover Christmas all over again through my girls' eyes!  Christmas actually started a week earlier at my dad's house.  On Friday December 20th, I took Adelyn to my dad's for Christmas.  I left Clara with my mom because I was exhausted.  The girls hadn't been sleeping well and Clara was being SUPER "sensitive."  I figured that trying to pack around two car seats, two babies (one being super fussy), and presents was going to be a little much so I made the "Mom" decision to leave Clara with Grandma and Grandpa Marquardt.
     My step sisters have little kids and there is always a lot of action and screaming at my dad's so I didn't want it to over stimulate Clara, which I knew it would.  Obviously next year they will both come since they will both be able to walk and will be a little more self sufficient, but this year, I needed some peace and Clara needed a calm environment.  She was missed by all, but I stand by my decision as her mom.

 Christmas Eve was spent at my mom's house.  The girls both had colds so it was EXTRA fun...Before I left to go to my mom's my friend Katie surprised me with a visit of presents.  It was sooo sweet of her and her family to think of my girls during the holidays.  She showered them with a couple gifts and she was gone as soon as she arrived.  It was completely out of the blue and very much appreciated.  My other friend Jill showed up, as well, with gifts for the girls and we did a present exchange for our kids; I still think it so cool that I get to say "my kids."  I just feel so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.    
     We arrived around 3 pm at my mom's and I set the girls up in girls' room.  They fell asleep

Marquardts

immediately! Luckily they slept through dinner and were up and awake during presents.  I don't get to see Allison and gang hardly enough so it was fun for them to be able to play with the girls.

Adelyn telling cousin McKenna what she wanted for Christmas

Adelyn had some precious time with Auntie Alli

Christmas morning started around 7:30 am.  The girls got up for the day and we had breakfast.  After breakfast, I moved their lounge chairs near the tree and we opened presents.  I had to take a couple token Christmas photos and then they went down for their nap.  The girls were pretty much sleeping for the rest of the day...their colds pretty much wiped them out.
     Over all it was a great Christmas and I am super excited for next year when the girls will actually have some awareness of
what is going on around them

First Cold

12-24-13

Adelyn is powering through her cold!

Well...the inevitable happened...the girls got their first cold.  Adelyn caught it first.  On Christmas Eve she woke up with a runny nose, cough, and sneezes.  She was pretty miserable all day but despite that, she wore her smiles like a champ.  I called the doctor and he basically said that I should unclog her nose with the pump ball thingy and make a saline solution (1/8 tp salt to 8oz water) and put it in her nose.

Clara was trying to sleep off her cold in this pic

     She did NOT like the saline solution going into her nose but it did seem to help her breathe better.  The ball pump thingy didn't really do much.  I think it is too big for her nostrils.
     Clara eventually got the cold as well.  It hit her full force today (12-26) and her poor little nose is just a running away.  She doesn't mind me wiping it unlike Adelyn who puts herself into a fit when I try to clean her nose.  It must be sooo sensitive.  Poor girl.  I just want to make it all better for her!!!

   So far, luckily, I have avoided the germs that are flying around this house...thank god for

EmergenC!
     We are on day three of being sick so hopefully it has run it's course and will be moving on here soon!!

Purple Crying

Saturday Dec. 14, 2013


     Soooo, update on the feeding....we are back to our regular schedule.  The book is on the bookshelf to be re looked at, at a later date.  The girls are feeding about every 3-4 hours during the day and they are drinking about 3-6 oz. a time depending on the time of day.  I wake the girls up (or get us as close to) 10 pm as possible.  That is the GOLDEN hour.  They drink about 3-4 oz then and they will sleep all the way to 6 am ish.  I have a monitor in my bedroom so usually I hear one of them stirring around 3 am but they put themselves back to sleep.  Last night I didn't hear any stirring until 4 am so we have gained an hour of soundless sleep :).

     I keep the 6 am feeding silent.  No lights, no noise, and no talking to the girls.  I change them and then take them to the kitchen for a feeding.  They only feed for about 10 min (drink about 3-4 oz) and then back to bed for three hours.

     Our day starts at 9 - 9:30 ish.  I turn the lights on, open the blinds, and sing my "good morning" song to the girls.  I try to make it as inviting as possible.  The girls pick out their clothes for the day; usually they pick out a onsie and a pair of pants.  They are such fashionistas already, at such a young age. I wonder where they get it from?  Just kidding, I am just glad the outfit is in the same general color scheme.  Sometimes matchy matchy, most times not.  :) Sorry Grandma.

     During my endless hours of research to make sure I am doing what I am suppose to be doing, a friend sent me this link that explained a lot.  Did you know there is a thing called the "witching hour" or "happy hour" for babies?  Apparently starting at 2 weeks of age til about 12 weeks of age, babies tend to cry for no reason and more so in the evening time.  I had no idea, but it explains A LOT.  From my research I found that people call it "PURPLE" crying.



      The research says that it peaks at 8 weeks of age; sooooo true because my girls are 9 weeks old now and I was pulling out my hair trying to understand what was going on.  After finding this article it makes more sense.  The girls are doing what they are suppose to be doing!  I am doing what I am suppose to be doing; phew.
     I wish there was ONE book that walked new parents through the stages.  I have to find all this important info in so many different resources.  I guess that is one of the main reasons for this blog.  I want any new mom that comes across it, to have the info they need in ONE place.  I am such a trail blazer; ha, just kidding :)...just being my typical overachieving self :).  Always an adventure :).

Sleeping Update 2

Tuesday Dec. 10, 2013

Sooooo.....things might be working out.....

I have been putting Clara in a swaddle and in my bedroom in the napper and I put Adelyn in the crib in the nursery.  Adelyn likes to sleep with her hands above her head so I don't swaddle her. Adelyn will sleep at least 30-45 minutes before stirring.  I give her about 5 minutes of fussing before I go to her but lately, she has put herself back to sleep.  WAHOO.

To be continued... :)

Sleeping

12-8-13

Another day in pair...adise...

It is amazing how much you don't appreciate sleep until you don't get it anymore.  I have given up on the dream of a solid eight hours of sleep.  Maybe someday...

My girls have such different personalities already in their early lives.  Clara is my amazing sleeper.  Adelyn, not so much.  From the first day they came home from the hospital they have dictated their sleeping arrangements.  They didn't want to sleep in the bassinet so for the first three weeks of their lives they slept in the swings in the living room, while I slept on the couch; not the most comfortable for me but they slept, which was key.

After three weeks, I discovered that they love sleeping in their nappers.  I arranged the nappers on my bed and for the next couple weeks...life was great.  They were on a 3 hour schedule during the day.  For example, wake up at 8, change, feed, play, then around 9, back to bed; they would sleep for 2 hours and we would repeat. Life was great for all.  They were on a routine and I had a life I could work around.  If I tried to get them to sleep anywhere else, crying would ensue so it was back to the nappers. At least I was back in my bed and not sleeping on the couch anymore, even if I was limited to a single width on my queen size bed; them sleeping is key however it works.

Then at 6 weeks life took us on another adventure.  Clara is still my perfect sleeper.  I swaddle her, place her in the napper, give her a pacifier and she is out...she is out in seconds.  ahhh....heaven.  Adelyn, not so much.  I swaddle her, put her in her napper (she hates the pacifier..so we skip that part) and then....screams.  She just doesn't want to go to sleep.  She is sooo alert during the day; she stares at everything and she just doesn't want to miss out on anything by going to sleep.  Now, I swaddle her and rock her for about 5 minutes until she passes out.  Then I am able to put her in the napper and she will sleep for about 30 minutes and screams again.  I get her and bring her to the living room and in about 15 minutes she is sleeping soundly on my chest.  She is out.  If I try to put her back in the napper, she wakes up immediately but if I let her just cuddle on my chest, she will then sleep the rest of the hour til the next feeding.  Needless to say, I can't get things done during that time but I also love the bonding time.  I feel guilty that I don't have that cuddle time with Clara because she sleeps so soundly in her napper.

Now we are at 8 weeks, almost 9 weeks old.  Adelyn STILL doesn't like to go to sleep during the day; both girls are good night sleepers so I am thankful for that.  We have our last feeding at 10 pm and they will both go right to sleep until 3 am and then again until 5:30 am. I am looking forward to the day we can skip that 3 am feeding.

Today...I may have found a solution....I am probably jinxing myself by writing about it but I am hoping that any mom reading this blog may have advice for me.  I fed both girls at 8 and then they get twin time.  They play in the crib for 30-45 minutes and then I put them to bed.  Now up to this day, both girls sleep only in their nappers.  So I take them out, swaddle them, and put them down.  Clara went right to sleep; Adelyn, nope.  I took Adelyn out of my room and put her back in the crib.  I figured she could entertain herself for a while longer and then fall asleep and sure enough....at 10:15 (1 hour 15 min later) she is asleep in the crib.  HALLELUJAH !  I am writing this while she is sleeping so I don't know how long it is going to last.  So far it has been 10 minutes.

Update....it is 10:30 and Adelyn is awake again...she isn't crying tho....I am going to leave her in the crib and hopefully she will put herself back to sleep.  Life is good when there isn't any crying :)